❌ The Merch You Never Knew You Needed ❌

Fake it till you make it — then wear it proudly.

Shop!
Product mockup

NO CLEAN VOCALS Unisex t-shirt

NO CLEAN VOCALS Unisex t-shirt

From $27.90 USD
From $27.90 USD
Product mockup

POP PUNK Unisex t-shirt

POP PUNK Unisex t-shirt

$27.90 USD
$27.90 USD
Product mockup

All Products

All Products

Designed for Posers

Can't name a black metal band? You're in the right place.

Safe, Secure, Elitist-Free Production

Our customers only know G, C, and Em chords... and that's OK!

We like their older stuff better too...

(We don't know their older stuff.)

Shop!

Our Happy Customers

  • Lars, 24, Sweden

    "My favorite breakdown? Uh, well, there was this time my girlfriend left me for this bassist from Moldova. That was a rough month for me..."

  • Peter, 34, USA

    "I kinda have my own side project going on right now. It's gonna be big. No, it's getting mixed right now so I can't show you..."

  • Lulu, 19, U.K.

    "How'd you know I only listen to metal for the boys? No seriously, how'd you know? Is it my shirt?"
Tell us yours!